Toastmasters Speech Project # 8 (Get Comfortable with Visual Aids)

SHUT THE ENGINE EARLY !

(Speech starts with the following presentation) ;

We all want to sleep like a dog…but for most of us it’s only a dream….

Fellow Toastmasters & distinguished guests…try to stay awake…because today I’m about to talk about sleep !

Most nights when I finally decide to sleep….I come to my bed, try to set the alarm and suddenly realize that it’s almost 2 ‘o’ clock in the morning…then I curse myself…’ I have to wake up at 6 tomorrow, why am I still awake ? When I recall what I have been doing so deep in to the night,  most of the time it happens to be watching a late night movie, hanging out with friends, spending time in Facebook, or chatting with someone….if you also have these habits, don’t worry…you are not alone, but rather you are a of the new generation. 'The new generation of insufficient sleepers'.

Toastmasters, insufficient sleep is fast becoming a serious public health epidemic. According to a research by University of Warwick, an estimated 150 million adults are suffering health issues linked to lack of sleep.

The Doctors advice is that an adult ideally needs 8-9 hours of sleep at night…but it doesn’t happen practically…we stay awake at night when we should be sleeping, and during day time, when we should actually be working at full steam….we are like….this ;  

 or, like this ;

 But this is still fine, because after lunch it gets worse....then we are like this ;

 or even like this ;

Now let’s see What are the results of this sleep deprivation ? Insufficient sleep at night causes difficulty to concentrate, depression, anxiety and builds stress in to our daily life. In fact, recent studies have revealed that between 50 to 80 per cent of stroke and heart failure patients are insufficient sleepers.  

So, I don’t have to elaborate any further that insufficient sleep is a silent killer...

However, having said all this, I’m not here to tell you to go to bed at 9 ‘o’ clock….I know it’s not practical. I’m here to present you a workaround for this issue. When you have less time to sleep, at least if you could have a deep sleep or sleep really tight, that’ll reduce the effects to a certain extent, and you’ll feel refreshed when you wake up the next morning. So, today I’ll give you some tips that help you to sleep tight…..

• Firstly, have a warm bath just before going to bed. It’ll not only relax your mind, but will adjust the body temperature suitable for sleep.  

• Secondly, would you like to sleep in a bed room like this ?
  

          of course not….make your bed room a sleep zone….Have a comfortable bed and eliminate light as  much as possible  …If you are afraid  of total darkness, have a night light that emits a very dim light that doesn’t distract you…..Don’t bring your laptop, tab or even the mobile to your bed. Do not leave yourself any options in the bed.....you come to your bed, you sleep !

 

• Thirdly, a full stomach deprives a good sleep….have a light diet for dinner, ideally some fruits… because fruits facilitate good sleep…
  

• Another proven method for a deep sleep is to listen to sleep music. Sleep music or music with Gamma Binarual waves is capable of sort of hypnotizing your brain and putting it to deep sleep.

• And lastly, doing sleep yoga or having sex just before sleep also helps, but I don’t encourage it to this audience since most of you are bachelors and it could lead to more far reaching consequences than lack of sleep..... :D

So to conclude, even the most sophisticated engine in the world needs a down time. ….So, stop your engine as early as possible and let it refresh…remember, "a good night’s sleep means a fresh beginning to new day"....So I hope that all of you would heed my advice and will sleep your way to success !

Toastmasters Speecg Project # 7 (Research Your Topic)

ARRANGED LOVE

These days I’m seriously considering about getting married again……..Don’t worry, the partner will be the same, but this time round, the approach will be different !

Fellow Toastmasters and Distinguished guests, Good evening !

Do you know that that the world is in the process of making a ‘U turn’ on what leads to successful marriages? Yes, latest research has revealed that currently the popularity and success rate of arranged marriages is overtaking love marriages.

According to a research by UNICEF Human Rights Council, the highest divorce rate in the world for the year 2012 was 54.9% in Sweden. USA was a close 2nd with 54.8% & Belarus 3rd at 52.9%. These are 3 countries where almost all marriages are result of love affairs. Compare that with India, where still more than 90% of marriages are arranged, India recorded the least divorce rate in 2012 with just 1.1%. In Japan, the most common route to marriage is still ‘ The omiai’, which is an ancient custom where suitable couples are formally introduced to each other by their parents. Japan recorded the 3rd least divorce rate in 2012, with 1.9%

So this stats gives rise to 2 questions... how come such an unromantic thing like an arranged marriage became to be so popular ? and why is it so successful ?

Let me explain how & why.....

Why is it popular ? Biological Anthropologist and author Helen Fisher says that "men are more eager to marry when they're financially secure, and women want to marry when they want children". Over the years the overwhelming desire towards higher education, and a strong financial standing among men & women has undermined the importance of marital bliss and having children. Besides, due to the rapid development of cosmetics industry and technology, finding true beauty at heart and physic requires years of searching & heartache. Millions of eligible bachelors around the world are now too busy to go through that stress, and leave the finding of a perfect partner to their parents or a match maker.

That’s the main reason for the popularity of Arranged marriages, but it’s great success over love marriages is due to multiple reasons.

Firstly, for a marriage to be successful, the primary requirement is the mental match between the 2 prospective candidates. In an arranged marriage a thorough test of social, economical and cultural compatibility is carried out, which in turn facilitates a mental match. In comparison, the mistake made in Love marriages is that the stepping stone of the relationship is the physical attraction. A lot of youngsters conceive lust to love, and pay the price dearly with unsuccessful married lives. Whereas in an arranged marriage, Love is considered a 'product of marriage, not the cause'.

William Shakesphere once said, “Expectation is the root cause for all heartaches”. He is spot on. Lack of expectation is the second main reason for the success of arranged marriage over love marriages. The parties in an arranged marriage tie the knot with less expectation and a skeptical mind. They are prepared for the worse, that is for a “Prince Charmless” or a “Rebellious Princess”. Their mindset is prepared to adjust themselves based on their partner. But in a love marriage it is the exact opposite. When in love, people promise sun and moon, but the promises last only up to the honeymoon. They enter marriage with full of hopes. And when they come to experience the harsh realities of life and that their dream world is crashing, the plates & dishes in the kitchen starts getting flying lessons.

Harvard Academic Dr. Robert Epstein says that feelings of love in love marriages begin to fade by as much as by 50% within just 18 months from marriage, whereas the love in an arranged marriage tends to grow gradually. Ten years on, the affection felt by those in arranged marriages is typically twice as strong.

I hope the message is clear to you now…So in conclusion, my advice to the eligible female singles in this audience is, "your parents know what is best for you, so leave it up to them". And for the boys, if you feel you’ve found your soul mate, let the world trends and percentages work in your favour, Tackle her parents before the girl !

Toastmasters Speech Project # 6 (Vocal Variety)

SAVE THE MARBLE !


I was leaving office for lunch, when our Australian Engineer greeted me in the corridor, (in an Australian accent ) ‘Good day mate’…but for me the day was not shaping up very good…

I got in my car and set out to pick my daughter from school. My eyes & ears were on the road, but my mind was scrolling through the long list of 'things to do'. Topping the list was the Weekly Sales report to the General Manager….”Dude, where is my sales report, now it’s 2 days late”…was how he greeted me this morning….but his report was just one out of about a dozen things I had to finish within today, none of which have even been started yet…. I was under pressure, stressed, feeling tired, and my shoulders were very heavy.

Contest chair, respected judges, & fellow Toastmasters, “Good evening”……

Once my daughter hopped in to the car, I started driving towards home…… 
“ How was your day Daddy ? ” my daughter threw her usual appetizer to a long conversation. but I, did not want any interruptions in my world of thoughts….

“ fine ”….

”Daddy I want to tell you something”….she wants to continue the conversation, but not me..

” If it is about school, tell it to mummy, I’m busy thinking something”…

” No, no, not about school, it is ”…yet another disturbance, I got annoyed….

(in a very angry voice) ” Don’t you understand ? I told you not to disturb me”……………She realized my bad mood. A few quiet minutes later something happened that that caught me off guard.
 
My daughter slowly started to sing to herself, very softly, yet so cheerfully;
 
“Living in my own world.... ♫ ♪ ♫
didn’t understand.... ♪ ♫ ♪
that anything can happen....♫ ♪ ♫
when you take a chance…. ♪ ♫  ♪  

Her all time favorite song..…Her cheer must have brushed on me, because my anger started to erode…I adjusted the rear mirror and looked at her, perhaps for the very 1st time that day with real purpose. Her eyes were still wet with tears caused by my stress…but she still looked extremely lovable……I kept on looking at her,….. and started to realize how much she has grown up from the cute little baby girl whom I myself cut the “Umbilical Cord” 8 years ago… Just that thought ignited memories of that beautiful moment when she was born,………..How I nervously cut the cord, How she cried for the very first time making her face grape red, and the relieved smile in my wife’s face,…those scenes started to flash in front of my mind like a movie….

I felt sad ! I felt sad for just being so rude to such a precious treasure in my life…and the tear that I so controlled during that moment 8 years ago, betrayed me this time and rolled down my cheek…. :(

” Daddy, are you crying ?”  Her surprised voice dragged me back to the present moment.. ……But how could a father show his tears to a daughter ?.....

”No, it must be this fly, that went in to my eye”………I am a bad liar…. she probably realized I was melting..…

(in a very kind & gentle voice) " Daddy, you need some water ?"........I pulled the car over..

” No darling, Daddy badly needs a hug from his beautiful daughter”…. I saw the amazement & excitement that spread through her face in a flash…she jumped to the front seat and gave me a bear hug for a few minutes…. Suddenly, it seemed as if, the whole world was standing still for a moment.

As I looked ahead back again, I noticed a new beauty in the surroundings, the ‘bright blue sky and wispy clouds flying softly by’…at that moment, I realized I was at peace, and so was the world around me.
“Getting the wind knocked out of you is the best way to remind your lungs how much they love the taste of fresh air !”………extreme pressure & stress, followed by a moment of over flowing fatherly love, brought clarity to the one thing that means most to me in my life... and ever since that moment, I always feel so grateful and blessed to have these three wonderful people to come home to, whom I proudly call “my family”.
Toastmasters, Life is like one of those races in Nursery School, where you have to run, with a marble in a spoon, held in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point in coming first, same is with life. Life is good when you are happy…..Life is better when others are happy for you…. Life is best but when your family is happy because of you…..

So.....RUN THE RACE, BUT SAVE THE MARBLE !

Toastmasters Speech Project # 5 (Your Body Speakes)

WHO IS RUNNING THE SHOW ?

Do you think you know yourself very well ?.........I also thought so, until I realized ‘I better know me better’…..Having lived in this body for all these years, I still discover new things about myself, which I didn’t know earlier….hold your breath, I’m about to reveal my latest discovery……. Mister Suranga Fernando is right handed, but Toastmaster Suranga Fernando is left handed !!!

Fellow Toastmasters & distinguished guests,

My Right hand is the king…having said that, even a king is very obedient when faced with his wife…..My right hand is so dominant when I write, type, eat & so on, except of course, for when I speak. Whenever I speak, the queen takes over control, or in other words, unintentionally almost all of my gestures are shown by my left hand, while the king calmly hangs down by my right side.

The desire to overcome this shortcoming prompted me to research about 'body gestures during speech', more with hope than conviction that I'd find some comfort…In the process, I came across some very interesting gestures that we seldom see on this stage. I’ll share a few with you today, so to increase your repertoire.

The 1^st technique is to be a ‘mover’. A mover is a speaker who makes various different exaggerated, animated or funny body movements during his speech. This technique not only grabs a lot of attention but you’ll also get captured in some very interesting positions in photographs. But, the downside of it is that using this technique ‘You walk on thin ice’. An action that is funny & interesting to one person might look stupid to another.     

Another interesting technique is to be a “thrower”. Although ‘Thrower’ is a term more associated with sports, a little known fact is that it is also an effective body gesture. Whenever I talk about throwers the 1^st person who comes to my mind is Mr. Sugathadasa. He is one of my teachers in 8^th grade and was a fantastically accurate thrower. This is how it works. When Mr. Sugathadasa delivers a lecture, if he notices that someone is not paying attention, he would set the chalk duster in motion. The duster would slowly fly through the class and kiss an unexpecting cheek….. “Puff”……someone gets a chalk make up all over his face and thereafter the rest of the class would not loose eye contact with Mr. Sugathadasa, even for a millisecond for the rest of his lesson….I know what you are thinking now….”Toastmasters International would not allow us to throw Dusters at Toastmasters”….besides, “Mr. Sugathadasa never had a speech Evaluator closely monitoring his every move”…..but still, it is a good concept which we could make usable with a small fix. The 2^nd thrower I saw did so with great success.

Instead of a duster, he brought small gifts to the lectern. During his speech He asked simple questions from the audience…The first was “who loves Cooking ?” the initial response was slow & discouraging. To the only person who belatedly raised a hand, he said “very good, this is a valuable Cookery book, and now it’s yours” and threw the book to him. Guess what happened there after ? The whole audience was waiting impatiently for his next question, to jump up with the answer, ‘I know, I know’….The mood of the audience changed from boring to lively in no time. Trust me; this is a short cut to become a popular speaker overnight. But let me warn you at the same time; this popularity comes with significant damage to your wallet & bank account.

The 3^rd & last technique doesn’t cost you anything. It is to be an “involver” As the word would imply the whole idea is to get involved with your audience. During the speech the speaker would walk among the audience, talking to them, joking with them, and blending with them. He would even invite a volunteer on stage and do a role-play to add another dimension to the speech. But here again you have to be very cautious on time management & to remain topic oriented.       

Toastmasters, body gestures significantly enhance the effectiveness of your speech. A speech without body gestures would look like a ‘talking dead body’. But having said that, the gestures must also be natural expressions, or at least you need to practice them well so that you pretend the gestures flow naturally. ‘Just like how I did throughout this speech! ‘  :D  

Before I conclude, let me do a confession…the reason why I love these 3 gestures in particular. It is because they all have one aspect in common. Being a mover, thrower or an involver requires major body movements, and that deceives your audience to the extent that they fail to notice something very obvious….The obvious fact that “it’s not the king but rather the queen who is still running the show ! “     

Toastmasters Speech Project # 4 (Get to the point)

ARE YOU MORE INTELLIGENT THAN A COW ?

Sri Lanka fashioned their 1996 World cup campaign on a new found fortitude, “pinch hitting openers”. Their game plan throughout the world cup campaign revolved around a blazing start from the openers. It was no different for this semi final against India in Calcutta as well. But to their horror, their 2 trump cards, Sanath & Kalu both got out in the very first over of the match…..

‘Thousands and thousands of Indian fans started dancing in the streets of Calcutta’. Why not ? They have have cleared the main hurdles to their drive to a World cup final !

Meanwhile in the neighboring country, 20 million people were in deep shock...They pinched themselves hard in disbelief, with the hope of waking up from this nightmare…there was a pin drop silence throughout the whole country, and only silence prevailed…..just profound disappointment, only silence could convey.

Sri Lanka’s game plan was in total disarray…analytical thinking was the need of the hour !

Fellow Toast masters & distinguished guests, Good evening !

A horse or a cow would just go where it is led to, but a man is supposed to be more intelligent. They are supposed to think beyond and take quick & intelligent decisions according to the demands of the situation. It is for that; they are gifted with something called an “Analytical mind”’. Today, I want to stress the importance of Analytical thinking or using your analytical mind. To do that, being a cricketer myself, no better example comes to my mind than this story I’ll share with you today, where 2 quick & intelligent decisions provoked by Analytical thinking, brought immense glory to my motherland.

Toastmasters, join me to relive the glorious memory, once more….

Sri Lanka’s 2 master blasters have had a rare failure…..someone had to take a quick decision and do something special to resurrect the Sri Lankan innings…and that man to use his Analytical mind that day happened to be Aravinda de Silva. He assessed the situation and took a quick decision…a brave decision….“to counter-attack”….what unfolded in the next hour was breathtaking and magical. Aravinda played delightful cricket strokes one after another. His strokes were played with such precise placement that fielders were rendered redundant.

Aravinda scored a half century at maniac pace. Thanks to his phenomenal aggression, Sri Lanka gained the momentum back and managed to pile up a competitive 251 on the scoreboard.


Batting first and putting up a challenging score was only half the job done. The next task in the game plan was to get some Indian batsmen out pretty quickly, and put them under pressure. But, it was not to be...Chasing 252 for victory and a place in the finals, India were cruising to their target.....2 CARS were motoring them along….Sachin Tendul”KAR” & Sanjay Manjre”KAR”…..
“1.6 billion Indians were starting to sense the smell of Silver”, the refreshing smell of a brand new World cup…..meanwhile in the neighboring country, world cup hopes of 20 million Sri Lankans were getting 'evaporated even under the night sky '.....

Things were not going according to plan. Someone had to use his Analytical mind and do something special to stop this run spree....and this time it was Arjuna Ranathunga....Arjuna’s keen eyes noticed a rough “patch” in the “pitch” created by the bowler’s footmarks. He took a decision. Toastmasters, the 2nd quick & intelligent decision taken by a Sri Lankan on that 13th day of March 1996. He threw the ball to Sanath Jayasuriya and asked Sanath to bowl to that rough. Sanath obliged....Arjuna was right, the rough offered vicious turn & bounce. 2 balls later Sachin was stumped….Manjrekar & Ajay Jadeja were bowled, off the rough….and that opened the flood gates. India started to crumble like a pack of cards. They lost 7 wickets for 22 runs in the blink of an eye. From being in a commanding 98/1, they collapsed to a fatal 120/8….“Sri Lanka stormed in to the 1996 Cricket World cup finals beating India”………

Meanwhile in the neighboring country, that same 20 million people were pinching themselves yet again, in disbelief. But…ever so gently this time, they did not want to wake up from this fairytale….

Toastmasters, Sri Lankan cricketers defied the odds thanks to the Analytical thinking of Aravinda & Arjuna. By using their Analytical minds, these 2 cricketers proved that they are more intelligent than a horse or cow. How about yourself ?.....Are you more intelligent than a cow ? I don’t want to know the answer, but in case you feel doubtful, now you know what you need to do !

Analytical mind…….USE.......YOURS !